- My favorite film genre is horror. It wasn’t, until I took a summer course at Berkeley that changed everything for me.
- I was an extra in the drag horror comedy All About Evil. I have a close-up and everything.
- I’ve read more by Stephen King than by any other author.
- The movie that made me realize I was gay, at least to some extent, was The Object of My Affection.
- The first person I ever came out to was an older guy from my high school who started chatting with me on AOL and asking me increasingly personal questions about my sexual desires. He was a creep.
- The first NC-17 movie I saw in theaters was The Dreamers. I had it bad for Louis Garrel.
- I was mugged by five guys when I was 18. They punched me in the back of the head, but I don’t remember any pain.
- I’ve had two minor surgeries: wisdom teeth, obviously, and the extraction of a benign bone tumor in my big toe.
- I was adopted at birth.
- When I was in third grade, I appeared in my Jewish day school play A Symbol of Hanukkah. I really liked being onstage.
- In middle school, I went to theater camp, but not the prestigious kind you have to audition for. That’s probably why I got a couple solos. Humblebrag!
- I also did choir in eighth grade. And then I suddenly became terrified to perform again until my twenties.
- I love storytelling and I think I’m reasonably funny, but I’m afraid of trying stand-up comedy.
- I speak Italian, but I’m out of practice. I used to speak Hebrew and Spanish, but I’ve mostly forgotten both. I can still understand a lot of Spanish, because Los Angeles.
- I took Italian in college because French was full.
- I’ve always lived in California. I was born and raised in LA, went to college in Berkeley and stayed there for a few extra years, then moved back here.
- Outside of Los Angeles, the cities I’ve spent the most time in are Manhattan and La Jolla.
- My first boyfriend was named Mark. We dated for a few months when I was a freshman in college.
- My first kiss happened when I was a senior in high school. It was awkward, and my mom was home at the time.
- When I was a kid, I briefly played piano and guitar, both poorly.
- I was also forced into tennis, gymnastics, and t-ball. I excelled at none.
- I have a serious phobia of flying and take Xanax whenever I have to do it. I have recurring nightmares about getting on planes and forgetting my Xanax at home.
- I’m very insecure about my appearance, but I like my lips and my calves.
- At one point, I dyed my hair reddish-brown. At another point, I had blonde highlights.
- My Bar Mitzvah portion was Noah. I still feel an attachment to the story, if not to Judaism.
- My Bar Mitzvah party theme was television. All of the tables were different shows. My table was The Simpsons.
- When I was 15, I spilled chocolate milk all over a girl’s bag, and I still feel bad about this.
- When I was 17, I said that I didn’t think I was a feminist, and I still feel bad about this.
- All of my grandparents are dead.
- I can count the number of funerals I’ve been to on one hand. I’ve been to even fewer weddings.
- I’m allergic to cats and dogs, but I had a hypoallergenic dog named Lily. She was a Bichon Frisé, and I still miss her.
- Other pets I have had: a tortoise, a hamster, hermit crabs, a pair of rats.
- I once wrote Buffy the Vampire Slayer fanfic. It was not erotic.
- I have a scar on my left index finger from when I cut it while slicing bread on Ambien. I have told this story before, but it’s too good a useless fact about me to not share.
- I sucked my thumb until I was 10. I know.
- My nails are usually long because I hate the way that short nails feel. I get chills thinking about it.
- Sometimes I write because I don’t know what else to do with my time, and then I feel a little embarrassed about expecting anyone else to read it, but I’m publishing this post, anyway.
- I wrote a sex column in college. My mom loved it.
15 Layers of Irony 
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